


Hannibal Lecter is a rational man, even at the dentist.

by Fargosis



Series: Hannibal Lecter is a rational man [2]
Category: Hannibal (2001), Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types, Hannibal Lecter Tetralogy - Thomas Harris
Genre: Blood, Clarice and Hannibal are an established couple, Comedy, Crack, Dentistry, Dentists, F/M, Gen, Hannibal is a baby, Humor, body horror second chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-04 18:45:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4148781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fargosis/pseuds/Fargosis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequal to Hannibal Lecter is a Rational man, Hannibal Lecter goes to the dentist and remains a clam, cool, mature adult about the situation</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone! Please remember to comment and leave kudos! I'd like to maybe one day to write longer dramatic fanfiction but until then, here's this

The date was circled on the calendar, and underneath was written in the same colored ink

 ' _Dentist appointment 10:30'_ _  
_

Clarice M Starling adjusted the strap of her bag, glancing over at Hannibal before grabbing the door handle. "You ready for this tiger?" she jokingly asked, eye brow raised.

Hannibal quickly laughed off his wife's jab "Now please Clarice, tell me why I wouldn't be. It's the _dentist,"_ Clarice smirked and shook her head, thinking back to how Hannibal had acted **_last_ ** time they visited _'just the dentist'._ Throughout the drive down to the office Hannibal kept up his tough and brave attitude. "So your not scared? Not even a little?" Clarice asked at the last intersection before the Dentist's office. Hannibal just chuckled and held his head high 

"Oh _please,_ what do you take me for? A small terrified child shaking in fear behind their mother's leg?" He laughed. Clarice rolled her eyes, _yeah he says that now..._ Clarice pulled the car into the parking lot, and the couple entered the dentist's office. The waiting room was incredibly generic, grey tile and white walls framed by many blue, lightly padded, chairs, several of which were filled by people already. Once Clarice and Hannibal stepped into the waiting room, she could immediately feel a dramatic shift in Hannibal. When they were both seated Hannibal became very tense, he subtly crept his hand over the arm rest and grabbed Clarice's. Hand holding, that was casual and normal, there were other normal couples holding hands in that room. Hannibal's eyes darted back and forth, trying to construct a 3-D image in his mind with a list with thousands escape plans in case something went horribly wrong. He came up with six. He gave his wife's hand a good hard squeeze for comfort and she looked up from her magazine and smirked at him.

"Still _'just the dentist'_ tough guy?" she whispered to him in knowing mockery. 

Hannibal's face contorted in shame "shut up" he whispered back. Clarice in triumph, leaned back into her chair, grinning widely.

Hannibal started to tap his foot , when that failed to calm him and only increased his own anxiety he puled his legs up and curled himself into a ball on the chair, letting out a low whine, _"Clarrrriiiicccccce"._

 _ **"Don't  you dare start a scene! if your going to act like a baby than i'll carry you in there like a baby!"**_ she grumbled in response. A small child sitting with his mother in the row of chairs parallel to Clarice and Hannibal picked up on the grown man's terror and started to whimper and cry. All morning the child's poor mother had been trying to comfort the child and lull the child into believing the dentist was not a scary place. The now aggravated mother turned to her child and tried in vain to comfort him, confused as to what triggered this outburst, the mother looked up and over to where her son was looking beforehand. She glared at the couple in anger and disgust and of the man's behavior and lack of action on the woman's part. Feeling eyes on her, Clarice looked up from her magazine and smiled shyly and in deep embarrassment when she met eyes with the glaring mother, and then quickly flashed a look of indefinite rage and disappointment down at Hannibal, who was now rocking back and forth in his seat like a maniac. 

The crying child triggered a domino like effect and all the other children who  had been equally afraid broke out in a choir of screaming and crying, all pissed parents' eyes now on Hannibal and Clarice. Clarice just smiled humbly, refusing to try at all to deny her relationship to the man-child. They were a couple, they were a team, they did everything together and supported one another through anything and everything, despite how much Clarice desperately felt the urge to strangle the life out of Hannibal right then and there. Prior to the outburst, the room had been completely silent. The eruption of screaming and sobbing quickly drew in the attention of the people sitting in the immediate area around Clarice and Hannibal and several more people began to notice the middle aged man whom was handling the reality of being in the dentist's office worst than the children he had upset. A couple of the younger people in the room began to share the story of the man freaking out in the waiting room of the dentist's office on social media. Clarice shot angry looks at anybody she noticed holding their phones up in the direction of her emotionally distraught husband. 

Feeling the eyes of the room staring at him, Hannibal began to tremble in shame, still curled up in on himself. His grasp on Clarice's hand tightened. 

Time passed, the wall clock ticked away the seconds and minutes, and gradually people began to lose interest in documenting the public nervous breakdown of a Mr. Hannibal Lecter Starling. Finally, Hannibal sat up and lessened his grip on his wife, much to her approval.

"This isn't so bad, is it?" Clarice asked him, seeing as he had now calmed down and was no longer ready to pounce. Hannibal meekly shook his head in agreement, he was still anxious and on end, but now just less so than how he had been about 10 minutes prior.

"Uh, Mr. Starling? Dr. Fritman will see you now,"

_**Panic.** _

plain, simple, complete and utter panic shot up through Hannibal's veins and his arms firmly wrapped around Clarice's arm before he could even process the situation. Finally defeated, Clarice promptly put her magazine down and stood up with Hannibal. With Clarice at his side, Hannibal could no longer think about running off or mauling the office's staff, he had to be brave, he had to do this for her. The two walked, still with Hannibal clamped down on Clarice's arm, up the aisle of chairs to the door leading into the dentist's operating room. Eyes followed them in disapproval as Clarice walked her husband, 20 some years her elder, to the doorway. She coldly played off the judgeful gazes as if this were the most normal thing in the world, and that by that same merit, that they were the most normal couple in the world and that her husband had in fact, not broken down like a child in anticipation of seeing the dentist. Hannibal's breathing rapined with every step they took, by the time they reached the operation room, he was panting like a dog.

Clarice forced Hannibal off of her arm and placed her hand on his shoulder sportively, "I'll be right out here waiting if you need me," she kissed him on the cheek to aid validation to her statement before walking back to her seat. Hannibal froze up when Clarice left his side and the door to the waiting room closed, the room filled by his terrified heart beat.

"Please take a seat," instructed the Dentist. Thinking back to Clarice, Hannibal mustered up his courage and sat in the examination chair. The dentist pulled down the over head light and held his dental hook over Hannibal's face, the only person who would have noticed the light gleam off of the tip of the tool. "Alright now open wide, you won't feel a thing," The dentist brought the hook down closer to Hannibal's face.

Adrenaline shot through Hannibal like a firecracker and his fist sprang up and grabbed the Dentist's wrist and forced it out of his face. The dentist, taken a back by this childish behavior tried to pull his hand away, "Mr. Starling! This is completely uncalled for, I am simply trying to perform the routine examination your insurance is paying for!"

Hannibal only responded by grabbing the dentist's wrist with his other hand.

Realizing that Mr. Starling was not a diplomatic man who could be reasoned with the dentist turned over his shoulder and called over his assistant "NURSE! QUICK! BRING ME THE ANESTHETIC!" The nurse rushed over to the dentist's side with a large syringe, meant for putting patients under for removing teeth, and forced it through Mr. Starling's shirt and into his arm. Hannibal shrieked out in pain as the drug was induced, and in the other room the children began to cry louder, much to the dismay of the adults in the waiting room. He tried to pull out the syringe, but Hannibal's strength and body was already failing him, he let go of the dentist and flopped down onto the examination chair. The dentist and nurse exchanged glances and began the routine procedure on the now unconscious Hannibal, he was too heavy for them to lift and he wouldn't be awake for some time so they might as well take this time to accomplish something productive.

When the dentist was finished and Hannibal was awake, although still very woozy, he sent Mr. Starling back out to leave with his wife. On their way out the nurse stopped Clarice to inform her that their family was no longer welcome in Dr. Fritman's office. Clarice groaned in annoyance. This was the third time Hannibal had gotten them banned from a dentist. 

 

 

 


	2. Hannibal Lecter is a rational man whom acts appropriately before his next dentist appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6 months have passed since Hannibal's last trip to the dentist! Hannibal Lecter, a rational man now waits patiently for his next visit.

6 months had passed since Hannibal threw his temper tantrum at the dentists' office. It was 4:30a and Clarice was sleeping soundly. Hannibal was not asleep however, and had carefully crept out of bed and into the master bathroom, in which a box he had spent weeks collecting the contents of rested. Hannibal carefully shut the bathroom door behind him and caressed the wall looking for the light switch. With the room now properly and safely lit, Hannibal could proceed on with his work. He yanked the box of dental supplies out from under the sink and laid each tool out delicately over a towel he rolled out over the sink.

Hannibal hadn't found it necessary to acquire anesthesia, there was plenty of Tylenol in the medicine cabinet and Hannibal himself had a fairly high tolerance for pain, performing plastic surgery on himself several times in the past. For weeks now Hannibal had been accustoming himself to the science of Dentistry, after all, he had been a surgeon, not a dentist. He had filled several hours in the past week preparing for today, watching self-dentistry tutorials on _youtube_ and studying the _Wikihow_ article on it. Since his journey began he had learned the pulp of one canine had become infected and he required a root canal ASAP.

Hannibal sat on the toilet and watched his movements in the bathroom mirror, he picked up the rubber dam from the towel and set it in place in his mouth to keep the area of procedure dry.

Now came the fun part.

Hannibal plugged the dental drill in and turned it on, the device of pain and oral hygiene produced a loud buzzing sound. Some people would be terrified if they saw such a tool, others would be to drugged up on laughing gas to give a shit. Hannibal, un-drugged and 100% sober however, was now about to place said tool into his mouth out of his own will.The drill hurt just about as much as Hannibal had expected it to, he winced for a moment but was very soon back to being focused on the task at hand. With the access hole successfully completed, Hannibal could move onto the process of cleaning out the infected area. On Hannibal's make shift 'operation table' sat several root canal files, that he began placing into the drill hole in order to scrub out the bacteria.

Suddenly there was a loud banging at the bathroom door. _**"HANNIBAL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!?"**_ demanded his wife Clarice, who had been woken from her peaceful, lamb-less slumber by the sound of her husband bumbling around in the bathroom and what, in the dead of night, could have been a chainsaw for all she cared. Hannibal quickly turned the drill off, hoping Clarice would go back to bed soon so he could proceed with his work. 

"N-nothing! Just go back to bed!" He piped up, slightly anxious now. The pain of the unfinished tooth starting to really hit, as his entire jar 

**_"Hannibal why in the name of all things holy is the god damn door locked?!"_** Clarice demanded from the other side of the bathroom door.

Hannibal, increasingly panicked jumped up from his seat and shoved water from the faucet into his mouth, trying desperately to rinse out the tooth as fast as possible.

_**"HANNIBAL! LET ME IN THERE!"** _

_**"bLGveUgFGTPLA"**_ he choked out in response, water, and a healthy dose of blood, pouring out his mouth and nose and over the sink. 

_Faster._ Hannibal had to work _faster_.

As his enraged wife banged on the door Hannibal snatched up the canister of paste sealer, which he intended to wait at leas 24 hours before applying but the circumstances weren't going to allow him that precious recovery time. Hurriedly, Hannibal slabbed the glop into his mouth and over the incision. And then, Hannibal Lectter did something he had not done since Mischa was wiped from this Earth, he prayed to god.

He prayed to god that the sealer would dry before Clarice got the door opened and discover what he had been doing at four in the morning. Grasping a glance of the work he had done to his mouth in the mirror, Hannibal couldn't help but notice the excess of plaster that was currently sitting in his mouth, that as it dried, would increasingly become a problem and source of discomfort. With only seconds to spare before Clarice busted that door wide open, Hannibal made the last second decision to fuck it, and cut the extra sealer out of his mouth while it was still soft. 

Clarice, through the act of stubbornly jerking the doorknob and forcing the door, had managed to beak the lock on the bathroom door and barged in at long last. Clarice M. Starling hadn't been completely sure of what she expected to see when she finally got into the bathroom, but whatever it was she had been expecting, her husband, Hannibal Lecter, sitting on the toilet, mouth full of dental tools and dripping with a mix of drool and blood, was definitely not that.

" _ **AHWLWEYUH**_ " was all the cannibal had to say for himself, as he continued to work on his tooth, fist fully in mouth.


End file.
